Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Epilogue
Sometimes we reach the point
where there are no band-aids left in the box. Our's for Tim just ran
out.
I found him unable to place
his right front hoof on the ground as he groaned in pain. He kept
calling me to help him. Somehow in the night irreparable damage was
done to his shoulder. There wasn't a band-aid big enough to save him
this time. He managed to lay down in his stall to rest. I knew he
could never stand up again. Surrounded by love and attended by his
angel, we let him go.
The day before was a good
day for Tim. He walked the farthest he had in years on his own. He
appeared to be conversing Fancy and Czardas, as they stood with their
heads together, he ate whatever new grass he could find and generally
had a fine time for himself.
I like to think that he
needed this last bit of his life to find a replacement for himself,
someone to take care of me, after he was gone. Perhaps that is what
he was talking to the mares about. My best friend Timothy Daniel
James how can I live without you?
And so we try very hard to
let the horses decide when they've had enough, but sometimes we just
run out of band-aids and the choice is taken from us. Now, all his
pain is over – may we find each other again in paradise. Amen-
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Come On!!!
At 6:00 PM at the end of
the last snow storm on 3/19/13, I went to feed our new colt Zephyr
and his mom Thursday, their dinner. Usually they turned out in the
morning and we visit them and check in on them all day. On this day,
safely snug in their stall and having to care for the other 16
horses, which included cleaning all stalls and having to push the
wheelbarrow through unplowed snow to the manure pile. Thinking all
was safe and sound, I fed lunch at 2:00 pm then carried on.
Upon returning to feed
dinner to the mare+foal (they are in a separate 2 stall barn), I
found Zephyr distressed with green goop running from his nose, with
each breath he bubbled and gurgled. A freaking Choke!!!
He had probably been like this since lunch!
We
got these two just before the onset of winter when the colt was 3
months old and he wasn't halter trained. He is friendly and we can
pet him but is too wild to handle still and we felt we could deal
with that later when we weaned him. With daylight savings time and
all the storms etc. we really didn't have the time to spend with him
and felt it could wait.
Well
that said, here I am with an untrained foal experiencing a severe
choke and I can't even catch him to help him. A choking horse needs
to be calm and keep it's head down to avoid sucking food into it's
lungs, very bad indeed if that happens.
With
my heart racing and my mouth gone completely dry, I just wanted to
run away from all of this as fast and as far as I could.
It
was getting dark and I was all alone. Frantically I called the vet –
beginning them to please
come help me – I could barely breath- I will take the time now to
say “Brett Gaby, I love you. No matter how awful the situation,
when you get here, I know everything will be alright”.
He
arrived in 10 minutes! It took 3 of us to catch the colt, in the
process and excitement of it all the choke resolved itself. Dr. Gaby
gently passed a foal sized stomach tube through a nostril and all was
clear. (This was after 2 doses of tranquilizer, one in his neck
muscle to slow him down and the other IV to stop him in his tracks).
I asked if he could please give me a shot of that stuff too – ever
been there?
Zephyr
is now wearing Sugar Plum's halter. That in itself was probably worth
the whole circus it took to get it there. Sugar Plum will wear
Noogie's baby halter until she gets her own back. No one ever gets to
use Noogie's things, but I guess he wouldn't mind, but it was hard
for me because he was my son and died too soon.
And
so there is much to be said about halter training newborn foals
before they get big enough to realize that are stronger than you –
because chokes happen – as do many other “unforseen occurrences”
that require handling babies.
All
turned out well enough, though these episodes leave me shaken for
fays. We now have a substantial veterinary bill to pay and are almost
out of money again. Please help us, we can not continue this work
with you donations.
We
continue to work on the “unwanted horse” issues as well as
helping to expose the atrocious cruelties still going on in this
great country of ours. The public has a very strong voice. We
encourage it to be used in an educated non-frivolous way. We are
making a difference. The powers that be are taking heed. Thank you.
~Nina
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
February 4, 2013
On
2/4/2013 the vet came to float Tim's teeth. She told me, instead,
that he should be euthanized because of a laminitic hoof, that he was
in pain and his quality of life was not good. I have the greatest
respect for this vet and every single day I ask myself if it is time
for it to be over for Tim. Tim is my very best friend in all the
world. I tell him 20 times a day that I love him so very much. He is
my constant and I am his. He is very old. He has been with me for
twelve years. When the last of his vision faded from his eyes he gave
his trust, his life, to me.
When
we euthanized Snowdrop I planned it all out. I told everyone that
knew her to come and say goodbye, they had 2 weeks to do this. We got
the backhoe to dig her grave and made an appointment for the vet to
come on a certain day. Snowdrop knew
she was going to die that day. She just did. I swore I would never do
that again. She just checked out, we could barely make her walk to
her grave. I did not want that to happen to Tim.
Tim
is a time bomb. I know his day is coming. I always said that if he
ever chokes or colics that will be the end – no heroics, just over.
In all our years together, Tim has never been sick.
As
I held Tim on this day, 2/4/13, I sobbed and prayed. I had been
convinced by the vet that this should be the end of his life. I asked
for help from the Great Creator of horses and asked if Tim's angel
could be with us to help.
The
day before a human friend of mine had broken my heart. I was very
sad. I really wanted some kind of small miracle to take place for me,
I even prayed for one, silly as it seems, I felt so alone.
I
put Tim's halter on and said “come on my love, let's go for a
walk”. Because this was it, the last walk we would ever take
together. As I looked right at Tim he rubbed his head against the
stall door frame, caught some part of his halter on the stall guard
eye bolt, the crown piece broke and it fell from his face. In all the
years that I've had horses I have never had a halter break. I believe
I just saw my miracle. Tim did not die that day. I said “well,
there's my answer”.
He
got his teeth done, I fed him his favorite candy. Tim is not
leaving me just yet – and that's the TRUTH! - Amen.
I
hand pick our vets. Only the best will do for us – but they are not
always right. Sometimes I am. I have cared for Tim all these years. I
have seen his good days and his bad days, I have seen him rally time
after time. This was no wheres near as bad as he has been. He just
keeps getting over stuff.
Maybe
Tim's time will be up in a week, a month, or a year. Maybe he will
make it into God's Kingdom and never die at all. I just don't know,
but it wasn't on 2/4/13. His halter which he snapped and fell from
his face 10 seconds before walking to his death, one minute after my
prayers, well – I don't know – too many “coincidences” for
me. Again I still feel that the horses tell me when it's over. Tim
was telling me no such thing. He had his head out the door, snuffling
around, knocking things over finding bits of hay on the floor to eat.
His teeth were well cared for and he wanted Food!!
My
work here at EOTS is endless and difficult for my aging body to
manage sometimes. I do have the help of my wonderful volunteers and
especially my “hydra-bud” Jessica, but I so depend on the
powerful energy of these beloved horses to get me through the days.
Especially Tim. His is just always connected to me. His quiet
presence lends me his strength of spirit. He hugs me and comforts me.
He is far better than any human whose job should have been the same.
Any time, day or night he's there to help me. I know that he is
probably going to die some day. Of all the horses here I will miss
him the most, but on this day 2/4/13, I was reminded that dearest Tim
a gift given to me for a reason that I do not understand yet. My
beloved beautiful Tim – the most precious horse in the world.
And
Then
The
day after Tim's almost death, my dear friend Ruthie appeared with her
farrier. Tim had his feet trimmed. He's left front hoof twists
inward, we don't know why, but this was the one the vet was concerned
about. The problem was the right front. The farrier discovered a
subsolar abscess. That was a very good thing! The abscessed hoof hurt
like crazy which caused him to use his twisted hoof as the weight
carrier. He was very painful under these circumstances. I have
watched this cycle for years, Tim is used to it and I see it so often
I don't even worry about it any more. I will break the cycle this
time though. We have to fix it so the abscesses never returns.
Time
gets around fairly well as long as he only needs to limp on his
twisted foot, but the abscesses need to go.
Love Is -?
Some
of us are just not lovable people. I tried for most of my life to
find a human to love. I just didn't know how. It was a game I
couldn't win. One day I just got tired of failing. Loving and being
loved by animals is just so easy. It is pure, it is real and it
requires no effort at all. Animals either love you or they don't.
It's immediately obvious, there is no flirting, no ex-partners to
fight with – their loyalty is guaranteed for life. They don't judge
you, cheat on you, or leave you for a younger person They know your
voice, feel your energy and greet you with noisy enthusiasm when
reunited with you, whether after years of separation or a 5 minute
walk to the manure pile. Everyone one of our horses would follow me
through fire. They don't all love me, but they trust me. That is a
huge responsibility. Our horses all understand words, not just short
commands, but whole sentences. When I say “Would you please move
over so I can pick up that puddle of pee you're standing in?” They
do, I try to remember to say “thank you”, they like that.
In
Gabriel's case “How long do you think you're going to wait for
lunch if you stand there roaring and thumping at me?” grumbling and
muttering under his breath at what an ass he thinks I am, he backs
off and sticks his head in the corner and waits
until I feed him. He knows I always
win this game, because I have his lunch and if he wants it he has to
let me win. Gabriel adores me. He's like a big goofy teenage boy, he
pushes me around and sometimes almost bites me when I'm too stupid to
understand his needs. Somethings he rests his teeth on me and gazes
in my eyes with pure love, if no one is looking. I introduce him to
people as “my husband Gabriel”. We're like an old married couple,
the Frank and Marie Barrone of the horse/human world (from the
Everybody Loves Raymond show). Though Gabriel belongs to an angel, I
cherish our time together even though we argue most of the time, I
will miss him very much when he leaves me, though it will be much
quieter around here. He is so beautiful he just blows my mind. I
always was a sucker for a pretty face.
I am surrounded by the most beautiful beings in creation. I am an
artist and really appreciate beauty. Horses are masterpieces of
design. From their incredible hoof structure to their frivolously
useless manes, which I believe only exist to make us love them more,
makes them more appealingly gorgeous. There is no more wonderful
smell than on that velvety spot just behind a nostril. Their
intelligence and ability to figure things out, if you give them the
time to do it, is fun to watch. They are all excellent people
trainers as well. We have to be careful of that because they remember
everything if it works once, they'll do it again. Very clever beings
are horses.
Dear
old Gorgeous blind Tim has a very deep bed of soft shavings. Because
of his long list of problems, he lays down a lot. While we clamber
over and around him to trim his feet, he can't stand on 3 feet for
trims so I hack away at his hooves as best I can or Georgia our
farrier does it if he's laying down while she's there. He's so good.
He knows we are helping him and just sleeps through it all. I am
always on the look out for pressure sores, especially on his hips. I
found an oozing abscess recently that I cared for as best I could,
but pressure sores are notoriously difficult to manage on horses.
This one was pretty bad an my guilt for not noticing sooner was
great. I cleaned it and packed it with medicine, but I wonder, is it
time for it all to be over for Tim? How much suffering does he have
to endure? He is in his 30s and he will never be made well. Tim knows
when I even think
these thoughts. He reads my mind. If I could just wrap him in
Willie's memory foam mattress, to pad his boney parts 'til they
healed – How I love my dearest Tim. He spits out teeth, eats 5
buckets of hay cubes, 4 grain feedings and all the hay he can manage
with the few teeth he has left, daily. He is no problem at all to me.
I am with him all day and he never complains. He totters outside and
loves to roll in the snow and nap in the sun. He is magnificent. He
wraps his neck around me and comforts me in my distress. Tim is my
friend and most loyal supporter. He loves me too.
And
so, I have never quite “connected” with the human race. My
berserker energy is pretty intimidating to most people, but I have
been accepted into the world of horses. We just “know” each
other. Wherever I go, we just “know” each other. I am not lonely.
Being surrounded by too many humans makes me nervous and noodgy. So I
pretty much live by horse rules. They are easy to understand. I have
stopped trying to explain myself to people. Now that I am old and not
beautiful anymore very few want to be around me and I don't get away
with the behavior that I used to. But horses – will horses are what
I am – always have been – and that is very truly good enough.
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
Though once the public is
aware humane laws can be put in place and enforced, but that can only
happen in the US, Mexico is where this all originated. That is where
most of our unwanted horses end up. Slaughter bound horses are used
in bloody bull fights and in these horrible rodeos and parades. They
are the toilet paper that makes these cesspool crap spectacles
possible. No live horse from this country should ever
be shipped to Mexico! We must stop the unwanted horse problem in this
country. The law must be; if you make them, they are yours. Where
ever they may spend the useful part of their life, at the end, they
“come home to papa”. End of life care goes to the breeder-
slaughter, not an option- Micro-chips!!
- “You can run but you can't hide.”
Do I
sound fanatical? I have been in this business for a long time. I have
practical wisdom, practical knowledge. I am not a vegetarian, death
is the end of life. Death isn't the problem. It's the fear, the
horror and the pain that leads to death that I have a problem with.
It's the betrayal of a loyal family member who can not understand why
they are in such a horrible place. Do you get it? Are you with me in
this? These are goals. Don't waste time on useless pursuits. Closes
the slaughter houses in this country did not solve the problem. If
anything it made is far worse.
I
don't want horses to be slaughtered. I love them. I have devoted life
they are my everything,
but until there are no more unwanted horses, death, even for human
consumption is better than being tortured in Mexico, I am their
voice, that is my job -
Let
your goals, your missions be to make
it stop.
No more cruel spectacles, no more overbreeding, make
responsibility the law.
No more unwanted horses = no more slaughter horses, no more horses
shipped to Mexico – PERIOD!
Use
the law to our advantage. The bill in committee about Tennessee
Walkers used the “horse protection act” to write this bill backed
by the AAEP and the AVMA. These are not do-gooder animal rights
groups these are veterinarians.
Lets get them on board with this. Lets
write us up a bill.
Lets let the world know these abusers can't do this anymore. Let's do
now.
Lets make sure it passes. We can win this!
“In that day there will prove to be upon the bells of the horse
'holiness belongs to Jehovah”. Zech 14:20
This
is my very favorite scripture. There will
be justice!
So Much CRAP!!
I have recently become
aware of a couple more causes worth fighting for. Just when I thought
I had seen it all-
Ever hear of the wonderful
art of “horse tripping”? I knew what it was. We even had a pony,
Willie, who I believe to have been a victim. But thanks to the
internet and those little magic phones all the kids carry around, I
got to actually see it. It was so barbarically horrible, one of the
worst things I have ever seen. Thank you Ali.
The other was the magical
training of Spanish dancing horses. Thank you Jess. This too I could
only watch for a few seconds. The Spanish style rodeos and parades
where the events take place (even in Florida and other US states!)
must be shut down forever. These hideous spectacles must end. The
deplorable cruelty is – is – I have no words.
There are those who would
protest my thoughts. Those who would say “but this is our culture,
our traditions!” and I would retort “Cannibalism was once a
cultural traditional among some people too but that is now against
the law!” In this modern world why is this crap still going on??
Why do cheering crowds enjoy watching helpless animals tortured and
murdered?
I don't encourage any one
to watch these videos but if you need more convincing look on the
HSUS website where you too may be enlightened to the art of “horse
tripping”. Then do something about it - be prepared for
nightmares.
I pray for justice for the
horses, sooner rather than later. The creator of the universe and
owner of all horses will have had enough - “Let your Kingdom come”.
Amen
~Nina
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